Dream Interpreter AI™

The Lost Love on the Mountain

I dream a lot, but I rarely get dreams where I remember them because they are so vivid. Besides tonight, there has only been one time that I have had a dream that made me cry. I’m still crying as I write this because it hurts me. 

So, I had a dream that I was a girl (obviously), and I am maybe a year or two younger than I am now. In my dream, my mother fostered children and there was this boy who was about three to five years older than me that stayed with us. After spending lots of time together, I fell in love with him. It wasn’t like any love I have ever felt or dreamed about before. I have dreamed of a faceless man multiple times, but they’ve never felt as real or emotional as this. After I woke up, my heart hurt and I truly feel as though I have loved this man before. Which is not possible as I have never been in love before, but I felt like I truly have loved this man. However, after awhile I realized he only viewed me as a younger sister and he didn’t love me back in the way I wanted him to. A little bit later on, I also realized that he was starting to fall in love with someone. He would only think about her, and would ditch me for her. In my dream, there was a mountain a behind a few miles of woods behind my house. She lived up on the top of that mountain. Every day he would secretly go up that mountain to fetch her then walk her down. I knew he had been doing this, but I never followed him. Until one day, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to see the girl that he chose over me. I need to see the woman I was losing to. So, one day I hid at the bottom of the mountain to see him. As he emerged from the woods and headed towards the mountain to begin his journey for the day, I notice that he was carrying a bag of snacks. The same snacks I loved. After a couple more times of hiding out at the bottom of the mountain, I realized that 1. she had very similar taste in snacks to me, 2. he would do this every day. Every day he brought her snacks or flowers or something else. And every time I saw that, my heart felt pure anguish. One day he decided to finally bring her down the mountain. I can’t exactly remember a lot about her appearance, but I do know that she had blonde hair and was about five years older than him. As soon as he saw me at the bottom of the mountain and I had found out his secret of being with this woman, he just looked at me. I knew that look was pleading me to still keep it a secret. He then didn’t acknowledge me further and walked off with this woman. In this moment I was feeling intense heartbreak, but also intense anger. I wanted to share his secret with everyone, I wanted to betray him…but in the end I couldn’t because I loved him too much. After that day, I started to ignore him and distance myself from him. I would do things he disapproved of, and I started to turn into a person I wasn’t. He tried to get me to talk to him, but I just couldn’t. Since he had no idea I had feelings for him, he couldn’t understand why I kept ignoring him. He thought he did something wrong, but no matter how hard he thought about it, nothing he did came to mind. So, in the end, he thought I just ended up hating him and lost me to reasons he didn’t understand. Every time he was near, I just thought about the boy that I loved more than anything in the world, would never be mine. I was in too much pain, I couldn’t breathe right, and I fell into depression. To him, he thought I was becoming distant, to me every interaction with him was unbearable. Thinking back now after waking up, I regret ignoring him because little did I know he would spend the rest of his life with this woman, and that was the only time left he truly tried to be by my side. I was so consumed by my pain that I lost the last version of him that still reached for me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know this is dramatic, but this is truly how I felt in my dream. In real life, I would never wait around for a man like this, I would never let myself get this worked up and depressed over a man. In real life, I have an avoidant attachment and I could honestly care less if someone was to leave me. So, why? Why in this dream am I so distraught over this man? What did he mean to me? Anyways, they ended up starting to date and made it public. A part of me thought it wouldn’t last since he kept it secret for so long. I believed that if he couldn’t officially introduce her to us or his other friends, it would never work out. So, I still held out hope. That maybe one day he would return to me. However, that was not the case. No matter how hard I tried to move on, I would always find my way back to him. A sight, a sound, or a smell would hit me, and I remembered how much I loved him. After a few years of them dating, they miraculously broke up. After all these years of waiting for him, I thought maybe this time I can be the one for him. But I was wrong. A year a two after their breakup, they happened to meet each other at a wedding that both of our families were invited to, and they got back together. They rekindled their love, and never spilt up again. Once again, I was left behind in heartbreak. After that I never loved anyone again. I spent the rest of my life alone because I couldn’t love anyone else as they never came close to him. That is where my dream ended. When I woke up, I started crying. I feel this intense sadness, like I just lost someone so important to me. Even now, I can’t stop crying as I write this. I can’t breathe and it’s almost like I just lost someone to death. It’s weird, I know, but it feels like I actually lost the love of my life. I do cry easily, but it’s never like this. This is like pure distraught and anguish. It feels like I am grieving his death. Why am I yearning for a man I don’t even know, a man that isn’t even real? If this is what heartbreak feels like in real life, I never want to experience it.